Penis Colorforms And Boobie Tassels

Teaching is always an interesting profession.  When you work with teenagers, you never know what will happen from minute to minute.  Their hormones are raging and I think that many people forget that they were young once.  I haven’t forgotten but I do think that many gamins circa 2010 cross the line a bit too much.  The things they say, I would never have said to a teacher.  But who am I to talk?  I flirted incessantly with my male teachers.   Thank God they were stand-up guys because God only knows what could have happened if they weren’t.

My eleventh period class is always a handful.  Who’s suspended.  Who’s in ASP.  Who’s in impending danger of the dreaded phone call from the office.  It’s never-ending.  Yesterday the boys in my class decided to make penis cut-outs.  Many penis cut-outs.  And of course, they had to make me aware of their artwork.  Getting a rise out of their teachers is the thrill of their day.  They live for it and pursue its pleasure to the ends of the earth – or end of the school day.

Obviously they don’t know who they’re dealing with.  ME.  I am a little (ok – maybe a lot) outside of the box.  If I get flustered, it has to be something so inappropriate that even Ron Jeremy would blush.  So when they brought me their proud works of art, I said, “Nice.  Throw them out.  Put your penises away and stop playing with them.  Don’t you have enough time with them?  Ridiculous.”

This incited a shrill of laughter and disbelief, and even though they were delighted by my unexpected response, they were a little sad that they weren’t able to push my buttons.  When the bell rang I smiled at my triumphant win.

After work I had to go over to the high school for exam writing.  There was a school bus in front of me loaded with our kids.  When they realized that it was me, they started waving and calling my name.  I waved back and smiled and all of a sudden the color form penis that made an appearance in my class earlier, was in the window hopping from place to place.  I shook my head, gave them a thumbs-down and prayed that the bus would turn.  Blast!  My victory was short-lived.  They got me again.

Thinking I was out of the woods today, I carried on with my normal routine – knowing I wouldn’t see that group of seventh graders.  When period 7/8 rolled around my five eighth graders came in and sat down.  We’re working on clothing vocabulary, so I had a Power Point prepared.  As we were going through the vocab the conversation took a risqué turn when one of the boys asked me how to say thong.  I obliged because they were also learning underclothes like panties, bra and boxers.  What I didn’t bank on was the next question.

“Madame.  How do you say boobie tassels?”

OMG!  A little flustered, I half-laughed and screamed “INAPPROPRIATE!”  What the hell was going on?  Is it because it’s Spring and the hormones are dominant?  I don’t know but I definitely had a good giggle after they left.

I can’t wait to see (or maybe I can) what will happen tomorrow.  I DO love my job.  At least I’ll never be bored and will always have great blogging material.  You can’t make this stuff up!

© 2010 J. H-M. and CultureChoc2010.