I never thought I could hate anyone. I mean really HATE someone. I didn’t think that I had it in me, but then I realized that we all do. We all have it in us because we are imperfect humans. Not perfect. It’s hard to admit it.
People come in and out of our lives and either make it better, have no effect or make it just a little bit more miserable. I wish I could get over my venomous state but I guess I will always feel the same.
I never wish bad on someone because I think it’s wrong and I think it will come back to me three times, but lately, it’s getting harder and harder to resist. I have even gotten to the point of making voodoo dolls and wishing “people” will get what they “deserve” – no matter what that is. The older I get, the longer the list becomes.
When people grate on you and tell lies about you and bad-mouth you, it’s very difficult “not” to feel contempt. It’s almost impossible to move on. I think I need closure to move on. I dream about telling them off. I dream about beating the crap out of them (that’s where I think I’ll find closure – Am I acting like a teenager? So be it!). I dream about my husband defending my honor and my character once and for all.
I dream. I wish. I loathe. I hate.
I am human.
I am NOT perfect.