Aversion or Perversion?

From time to time I get food aversions.  Whether it’s eggs or steak or pork (like yesterday), I can’t seem to get over it.  The mere smell of the food in question sends me into a whirlwind of vomitatious thoughts and dry heaves – just thinking about it makes me completely sick.

Food aversions are not the only issues I have.  I can always swing the other way.  I become a total stuff-your-face pig.  A porker of enormous proportions – like today.  Since home instruction was cancelled again, I decided to stop by Petsmart and pick up food and litter for the kitties and some munchies for my backyard birds and squirrels.  Ninety-eight dollars later on an “eenie meenie moed” credit card I drove over to Famous Dave’s BBQ.

I pulled up to the take-out parking and went in with ribs on the brain.  I ordered an XXXL rack of ribs complete with potato salad, baked beans, corn-on-the-cob and a corn muffin.  That was just for me .  I ordered John some pulled pork and sides and headed into the bar for a beer while I waited for my food.  To my dismay they had no Guinness Draught, so I settled for a Blue Moon and some interesting conversation with the practically toothless man sitting next to me.

My take-out came before I finished my Blanche, so I waited and hung out a little longer.  Now… there are a lot of other places to visit in this particular strip mall, and Stone Cold Creamery is one of them.  I couldn’t resist.  So I further indulged in a small Cheesecake / Chocolate-Strawberry with raspberries mix with no lid because I ate it in my car while I was driving so there would be no evidence of my faux pas.

The phone rang on Van Zile and my husband asked me to pick up a couple things for him at CVS.  When I arrived I threw my cup in the garbage and grabbed toothpaste, a carton of half & half and a small bag of Munchos and headed home.

The smell of the ribs in my car was making my mouth water so I couldn’t wait to tear open the package when I got in the door.  I fed the cats, opened a Guinness and hoovered my meal.  Thank goodness I didn’t devour it all.  By this time John came home and yelled at me for eating BBQ.  After he ate and went upstairs, I swallowed another Guinness and opened my bag of potato chips and crunched on all their salty goodness.

My belly is like a Buddha’s and I feel awful, yet I keep craving french fries and gravy from the diner – but I’ll suppress that thought.  So instead of an egg white omelet tomorrow morning, I think I’ll stop at the coffee shop and get a pork roll, egg and cheese please.

So you tell me…. is it aversion or perversion?


One response to “Aversion or Perversion?

  1. Ha ha ha, it sounds like your body goes through moments of thinking it is pregnant.

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