From time to time I get food aversions. Whether it’s eggs or steak or pork (like yesterday), I can’t seem to get over it. The mere smell of the food in question sends me into a whirlwind of vomitatious thoughts and dry heaves – just thinking about it makes me completely sick.
Food aversions are not the only issues I have. I can always swing the other way. I become a total stuff-your-face pig. A porker of enormous proportions – like today. Since home instruction was cancelled again, I decided to stop by Petsmart and pick up food and litter for the kitties and some munchies for my backyard birds and squirrels. Ninety-eight dollars later on an “eenie meenie moed” credit card I drove over to Famous Dave’s BBQ.
I pulled up to the take-out parking and went in with ribs on the brain. I ordered an XXXL rack of ribs complete with potato salad, baked beans, corn-on-the-cob and a corn muffin. That was just for me . I ordered John some pulled pork and sides and headed into the bar for a beer while I waited for my food. To my dismay they had no Guinness Draught, so I settled for a Blue Moon and some interesting conversation with the practically toothless man sitting next to me.
My take-out came before I finished my Blanche, so I waited and hung out a little longer. Now… there are a lot of other places to visit in this particular strip mall, and Stone Cold Creamery is one of them. I couldn’t resist. So I further indulged in a small Cheesecake / Chocolate-Strawberry with raspberries mix with no lid because I ate it in my car while I was driving so there would be no evidence of my faux pas.
The phone rang on Van Zile and my husband asked me to pick up a couple things for him at CVS. When I arrived I threw my cup in the garbage and grabbed toothpaste, a carton of half & half and a small bag of Munchos and headed home.
The smell of the ribs in my car was making my mouth water so I couldn’t wait to tear open the package when I got in the door. I fed the cats, opened a Guinness and hoovered my meal. Thank goodness I didn’t devour it all. By this time John came home and yelled at me for eating BBQ. After he ate and went upstairs, I swallowed another Guinness and opened my bag of potato chips and crunched on all their salty goodness.
My belly is like a Buddha’s and I feel awful, yet I keep craving french fries and gravy from the diner – but I’ll suppress that thought. So instead of an egg white omelet tomorrow morning, I think I’ll stop at the coffee shop and get a pork roll, egg and cheese please.
So you tell me…. is it aversion or perversion?