Aversion or Perversion?

From time to time I get food aversions.  Whether it’s eggs or steak or pork (like yesterday), I can’t seem to get over it.  The mere smell of the food in question sends me into a whirlwind of vomitatious thoughts and dry heaves – just thinking about it makes me completely sick.

Food aversions are not the only issues I have.  I can always swing the other way.  I become a total stuff-your-face pig.  A porker of enormous proportions – like today.  Since home instruction was cancelled again, I decided to stop by Petsmart and pick up food and litter for the kitties and some munchies for my backyard birds and squirrels.  Ninety-eight dollars later on an “eenie meenie moed” credit card I drove over to Famous Dave’s BBQ.

I pulled up to the take-out parking and went in with ribs on the brain.  I ordered an XXXL rack of ribs complete with potato salad, baked beans, corn-on-the-cob and a corn muffin.  That was just for me .  I ordered John some pulled pork and sides and headed into the bar for a beer while I waited for my food.  To my dismay they had no Guinness Draught, so I settled for a Blue Moon and some interesting conversation with the practically toothless man sitting next to me.

My take-out came before I finished my Blanche, so I waited and hung out a little longer.  Now… there are a lot of other places to visit in this particular strip mall, and Stone Cold Creamery is one of them.  I couldn’t resist.  So I further indulged in a small Cheesecake / Chocolate-Strawberry with raspberries mix with no lid because I ate it in my car while I was driving so there would be no evidence of my faux pas.

The phone rang on Van Zile and my husband asked me to pick up a couple things for him at CVS.  When I arrived I threw my cup in the garbage and grabbed toothpaste, a carton of half & half and a small bag of Munchos and headed home.

The smell of the ribs in my car was making my mouth water so I couldn’t wait to tear open the package when I got in the door.  I fed the cats, opened a Guinness and hoovered my meal.  Thank goodness I didn’t devour it all.  By this time John came home and yelled at me for eating BBQ.  After he ate and went upstairs, I swallowed another Guinness and opened my bag of potato chips and crunched on all their salty goodness.

My belly is like a Buddha’s and I feel awful, yet I keep craving french fries and gravy from the diner – but I’ll suppress that thought.  So instead of an egg white omelet tomorrow morning, I think I’ll stop at the coffee shop and get a pork roll, egg and cheese please.

So you tell me…. is it aversion or perversion?

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One response to “Aversion or Perversion?

  1. Ha ha ha, it sounds like your body goes through moments of thinking it is pregnant.

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