Whose Last Tango Was It?

I don’t know if any of you have seen Bernardo Bertolucci’s Last Tango in Paris starring Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider, but it is definitely an Art House must see.  For years I heard about the erotic nature of this film and by 1973 standards (and 2010’s too) it is definitely a tad sick, twisted yet titillating and racy.  From the butter scene to snipping fingernails this expat took an unhealthy relationship to a new standard.

When I think about sex-only relationships so many things come to mind.  I’ve heard so many stories and have had a few too many of my own to judge anyone else without looking like a hypocrite – so I don’t judge – I won’t judge.  It does make you think, however, if you’ve lived through one, how veritably stupid you were at the time.  What was I thinking?

So without judging, you want to warn others about the signs of an unhealthy relationship because you’ve lived through it.  So I’ve compiled a list of warning signs to alert any man or woman and perhaps persuade them into running far away from the man or woman who is their drug.  Their total addiction.

Here are some bad situations that should spur your rapid departure:

  1. CONTROL FREAKS.  Partners that try to keep you under their thumb, without trust, are no good.  Unless, of course you have given them a reason to distrust you.  I’d slap a choke collar on you with a short leash too.
  2. SEXUAL DEVIANTS.  Anyone that forces you to do something you’re uncomfortable doing, is a slime.  If you both like it, I guess it’s not really deviant.
  3. MIND CONTROL GURUS.  If your partner tries to play the Manson card, run.  He or she will do anything to break you down and make you surrender to his faux-charm.
  4. BOOTY CALLS.  It’s 3 am and you’re soundly sleeping.  The phone rings and he wants you to come over.  You go, you stay and then he kicks you out.
  5. HABITUAL LIARS have to have good memories and they usually don’t so they eventually get caught.
  6. ADDICTS.  It doesn’t matter the substance:  sex, drugs, women, men, alcohol…  An addictive personality is addicted to everything.
  7. S AND M.  A little activity – not a prob.  A dungeon in their basement….. ah no.
  8. PORN JUNKIES.  A box of porn DVDs in the attic, a few free computer sites… ok.  Paid porno and an unhealthy obsession with Vivid…. no.
  9. UNFAITHFULLY MARRIED.  Stay away from the married one.  You may think it’s a good idea at first, but too many people are getting hurt.
  10. DAISY CHAIN TRAIN RIDERS.  Pass on group sex addicts – it will never end well.

After see Last Tango I realized that similar destructive behavior had creeped into my life long ago and today I can’t believe I actually survived.  Seeing a therapist was the least of my problems and breaking the addiction to “him” was going to be a great, almost insurmountable task – but I triumphed.

It took a long time to “wise up” and frankly I’m embarrassed of some things in my past – but I beat it.  Breaking my “addiction” on so many levels and just saying good-bye to that particular psycho was the emancipation I so desperately needed.  Still breathing and ready for a healthier atmosphere, it was MY last dance.

So if I can help another person liberate him or herself from a human addiction, it would make it all worth it and I would hope that it would be your last tango too.

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