“Introduce People With Thoughtful Details” And Other Unfiltered Comments

I was just watching Bridget Jones’ Diary for the 1,000th time before taking a dip in the hot tub.  Do you remember the line, “Introduce people with thoughtful details”?  That is one of my faves.  Could you imagine what you REALLY would say if you could get away with it?  I did.

Instead of saying………….You could say….

  • This is Ginny, my husband’s former wife…     This is my husband’s cheating ex douchebag, bloodsucking, money hungry whore.
  • This is my boss Tom…    This is the ass**** with power who likes to boss me around all day.
  • Mr. Smith, I understand that Johnny is having some self-esteem issues.  I will do everything in my power to make a positive impact…    Mr. Smith, stop raising your kid to be a whining pussy!  Tell him to suck it up and be a man.
  • No problem.  I will get to it right away…    Big problem.  Why don’t you do something yourself instead of sitting on your fat ass?
  • Oh, it’s ok.  It happens to everyone…    (Sneer) I need a man who can f*** on command.  I can see nothing is going to happen here tonight.  I’m leaving.

There you have it… the world according to ME.  If I could only… I would.  Not that I haven’t from time to time.  Would you?  What would YOU say?

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

© 2010 J. H-M and CultureChoc2010.

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