S And P Corruption

At 5:45 am this morning I was awakened by my husband screaming obscenities at my cat Bailey.  Apparently, he peed on his clean clothes again and John was M.F. ing him up and down.  

Little did I know that when my mom used to say “Shit and piss corruption” almost daily, that I would be living it.  I don’t have kids but I have cats who think they’re kids.  Fair enough – I treat them like my babies.

Bailey, as mentioned in Bailey The Cat, is both smart and spiteful, though my husband is mostly the object of his evil intentions.  When there is a change in his environment, he acts out just like a child.  His litter box is clean, he’s loved and well fed, yet he persists on being a dick.

In any case… back to my story….  I rolled out of bed, half asleep and stumbled down the stairs completely naked.  Hopefully my neighbors were not leering in my window because I was pulling a Full Monty without an ounce of shame (too sleepy).  I threw the suspect clothes in the washer, tripped back upstairs (not before a made a peep-show appearance in the window again) and crawled back in bed where my other kitty, excited by all the commotion, was waiting to greet me with meows, kisses and blows to the chin.

“Peaches!  It’s too early.  Go back to sleep.”  No luck.  She was up and I had to pacify her before I could slip back into a once again peaceful slumber.  I petted her, I spoke to her, I comforted her – all the while being kissed, talked to and head butted profusely.  Finally she settled down and I fell back to sleep – two seconds later, the alarm went off.  So much for sleeping a little bit more.

I went to work and had a decent day.  I was home pretty early after a few minor stops.  I started to the laundry room where John’s wet clothes were laid out on the washer because I’m paranoid about leaving the dryer on while I’m not home.  I stopped in my tracks when I was greeted by 3 big hairballs, food vomit and a couple of regurgitated strings from my fringe curtains.  When will she stop eating the strings?  When I take them down?  Probably.

I cleaned up the gross mess and walked to the foyer to grab the rest of my bags.  As tumbleweeds of hair were swooshing around the floor (and I vacuum the floors every day) I noticed a brown streak on my livingroom area rug.  Skid marks!  Yuk.  First hairballs, vomit and fringe and now poop stains!  What was next?  This was shit and piss corruption!

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4 responses to “S And P Corruption

  1. Oh my god are you me? HA! I have shit and piss corruption, vomit corruption and hairball corruption EVERY SINGLE DAY!

    Great stuff… I can totally relate.

  2. Spent a few days a while back cat-sitting a real grimalkin at a friends house – I think it might have been Pol Pot in a previous life, as it managed to turn the kitchen floor into a killing fields with all the wildlife it kept dragging through the cat-flap!

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