Bored out of my mind from being home on a Saturday night, I’m watching “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead” for the 100th time. I’m listening to my husband snore because he can’t muster enough energy to entertain me tonight – shocking. My incredible cleavage doesn’t even seem to get a rise out of him. No pun intended.
My cat Peaches is ignoring me, sleeping on a pouf at the other end of the family room. She’s pissed because I brought another cat home.
Bailey, my boy cat, is surely up to no good. He’s probably lying in wait to ambush Thursday (the new kitty) or pissing on John’s clothes that he left rolled up on the floor.
Thursday’s upstairs rolling in catnip, always on the lookout for a possible cat attack, probably getting it all over the carpet and my bed.
Anyway, back to ME. I had the windows open all day so it’s a little brisk in here but I refuse to put on the heat – damn utility companies! So I’m sitting here reflecting on my week and I’ve come up with the following:
- I can still calm the savage beast – even creepy Russian ones.
- I bring out the animal in everyone including my cat – the bastard bit me and gave me a bad infection. Needless to say he punctured my vein and I bled in projectile format.
- After 14 years of teaching, I still love it!
- I need to hang out with my friends more – we always have such a great time together.
- It doesn’t matter how thin I get, I always look like a heifer in pictures.
- I am going through shopping withdrawal. I didn’t think I was that bad. It’s torture.
- I HATE football season! I’m ignored 7 days a week instead of 5.
- I could vacuum my house 5 times a day (instead of two) and I will still find tumbleweeds of cat hair floating around.
- 10:00 am is too early for cleavage.
- I only have adult conversation 20 minutes per day Monday thru Friday – the rest of my life is spent with teenagers and my feline babies.
© 2010 J. H-M and CultureChoc2010.
- Snooki, Before The Pouf (thefrisky.com)
- Van Gogh’s Ear cat toy (boingboing.net)
- Kim Kardashian On ‘Prestige’: Cleavage & Nude Men (huffingtonpost.com)