Lessons Learned… The Hard Way!
When you’re a little girl you love your Mommy and Daddy.
From the ages of 12 – 25, your parents are the ENEMY!
At 25 you finally realize that you’ve been acting like a bitch all these years and apologize to your parents, who are now also your friends.
Losing your parents or a parent before the age of 40 makes you wish that you could have those years back again. Any years. The good, the bad and the ugly. The lessons they taught you. The lessons you hated. The lessons that made you who you are today.
When I was 15 I was dating a 19-year-old guy they called Acid Gary. That should have been my first clue.
My best friend Sue and I wanted to go roller skating and didn’t feel like taking the bus. In the eighties we would take the bus to Willowbrook Mall in Wayne so we could go shopping and skating if our parents weren’t on board with driving us.
That particular day, the bus was not an option. I had a boyfriend – who I was supposed to be dating – who had a license, a car and was old enough to buy booze. Enough said.
We concocted a great lie about how Sue’s cousin Dave was going to drive us up to go skating. It was a great plan.
Well, the best laid plans….
My mother got suspicious – as usual – called Sue’s mom and deduced that we were lying about something. She and Claire drove up to the rink and found us and I was caught in a lie.
I can’t even recount what I said to Claire because she tried to take my skates away. Not because I don’t remember, but because I am ashamed that I spoke that way to my best friend’s mom. Something I’ll never forgive myself for though I’ve apologized and almost 30 years later it still weighs on my mind though all as been forgiven a LONG time ago.
In any case, I bolted out of the rink and into the mall where my mother eventually found me (a few hours later) and pulled me out in a choke hold, by my hair, swearing at me in both English and Italian. She threw me into the car and drove home back-handing me for the entire ride.
Aside from being mortified, embarrassed, ashamed and pissed, after the dust settled and my punishment was done, I realized that I caused a terrible problem between my mom and me, my friend and me and me and my friend’s mom.
I don’t think it was ever the same after that. My lie changed my life.
That’s why one of the most important lessons that I learned was NEVER to lie (to my mother) again.