When I was a wild and crazy 21-year-old, living in Paris and doing whatever the hell I wanted, my days were never dull and my nights were pretty exciting as well.
It was a great soirée complete with spoiled, rich boys ready to show all a good time and spend some serious cash. The night went great – drinking, dancing, socializing… and then I had to pee.
I sauntered into the co-ed bathrooms and discovered that I was facing my long time fear – peeing in a Turkish Toilet. If you have never seen this particular animal, it’s a hole in the floor with a place to put your feet – but remember to jump out as you flush or your feet will get wet.
I entered the stall, ignoring the fact that a cute boy was peeing next to me, lifted my skirt, pulled down my stockings and tried to perform a super squat directing my urine into the tiny hole rather than spilling it down my legs.
Success! All was well dans les toilettes. My legs were dry and my clothes were pee free. I had managed to pull it off.
Back on the dance floor a mosh pit had developed with young, drunk Parisians slamming into each other with of course, some casualties.
After a few more cocktails and some major ass-shaking, we headed over to Les Bains Douches – the hot club du jour in Paris in 1987. Bains Douches was an exclusive “Studio 54” type atmosphere where you waited outside until you were picked to go inside.
The rich boys that we were with were a tad inebriated and tried to push me to the front in my see-through lace top and micro mini and very big hair so that we would all get in. That didn’t work because the door Nazi would only let me in and no one else.
Then the poor, little rich boy pulled out a wad of cash and tried to bribe the chick guarding the door…
“Ça vaut pas la peine monsieur.”
Which is French for “No fucking way!” We left with our tails between our legs (not mine – frankly I was a little aggravated I didn’t go in – but I couldn’t ditch my new-found friends) and trudged off to another club or bar – who remembers?
What I loved about Paris then and love about it now is that there is always something to do, someone to meet and somewhere to go. You’ll never be bored unless you choose to be.
I never saw those guys again (at least I don’t think I did – so long ago) but I’ll always remember it like it was yesterday. Twenty two years later I can still envision my surroundings and remember what it was like to pee in a co-ed Turkish Toilet for the first time.
I’ve peed in a few since then. Have you ever?
© 2011 J. H-M and CultureChoc2010
- Finding a Toilet in Europe (sfgate.com)