Seven Years Later

Many of you know that I lost my mother 7 years ago… February 27, 2005.

Well, I’ve survived another year without her, another year where it gets easier to deal with but not any easier to accept.  

Another year spent privately crying and publicly tearing up at my weakest moments.  Another year wishing she didn’t have to leave so soon.

Another year watching my friends’ parents pass and feel every ounce of their pain, all the while wishing that they didn’t have to go through it too.

Another year hoping and praying that in some way, shape  or form, she can see me.  Another year stressing that she’s ok wherever she is and not at all lonely.

Another year hoping that she knew how much I loved her and how much I miss her.  Longing for her to watch over my Dad and I.

Another year forging ahead because that’s what she would have wanted.

Another personal day spent with my Daddy making the pilgrimage to the cemetery.

Today we placed a dozen red roses on her grave.

I left them there just like I left her in her cold, snowy grave 7 years ago.

Like she left me when she moved on.  She had to go.  It would have been selfish to keep her here.  She was in so much pain.

Now it’s my turn to be in pain.

Until I see you again Mommy… watch over us and know that my heart is broken without you.  I love you!

© 2012 J. H-M and CultureChoc2010.

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