Shoes: A Twelve Step Program

I am an admitted shopaholic.  While I mean no disrespect to anyone fighting addiction, I am addicted to shopping.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  I love to shop for clothes, housewares, food, gifts, wine and books.  I do, however, have a special fetish.  A complete and utter addiction which I fight every single day.  I love SHOES!

Shoes are my nectar.  They are my drug.  When I slip on a pair of stilettos I feel like the sexy bitch that I know I can be.  When I slide on a pair of sky-high platforms I feel incredible confidence and power that allows me to tower over everybody even with my 5’2″ frame.

My body changes size often.  My ass gets bigger then smaller and the process repeats itself.  My shoe size never changes. Maybe that’s why I have 400 plus pairs of shoes.  It’s a sin, I know.  I can’t help myself.  I even had a shoe closet built a few years ago but sadly I can only fit in one season at a time.  There are about 13 shelves that fit about 12 pairs of shoes – that’s about 156 pairs.  Not to mention the countless pairs I have piled on top of each other (I know this defeats the purpose) – and I can still only fit in one season.

I have Rubbermaid tubs full of shoes tucked away in the attic just waiting to be taken out for the Spring.  I have shoe compartments hanging from the beams and shoe boxes strewn under two beds.  I have black, blue, tan, brown, gold, silver, purple, green, red, clear, orange, gray, yellow, pink, turquoise, burgundy, mauve, white, multi, leopard, animal print shoes.  They are leather, suede, plastic, metal, wood, cork, cloth, faille, pony, canvas, rhinestone, sequins, fur, rubber.  Platforms, stilettos, thigh high boots, whore boots, short boots, go-go boots, platform boots, sneakers, wedges, peep toes, pumps, flip-flops, sandals, flats (not many – if any), slippers, clogs, slip-ons, sling-backs.  Did I forget any?

I have a problem and have decided to relate my addiction to a 12 step program.

  1. I admit I am powerless over shoe shopping—my credit cards and storage space has become unmanageable.
  2. I believe that a Power greater than I can restore me to sanity.
  3. I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of an accountant.
  4. I have made a searching and fearless inventory of my shoes.
  5. I have admitted to my husband, to myself, and to other human beings the exact nature of my wrongs.
  6. I am entirely ready to have a shoemaker repair all the defects in my shoes.
  7. I have humbly asked him to have them ready within a week.
  8. I have made a list of charge cards I have harmed, and am willing to make payments to them all.
  9. I have made direct amends to such banks wherever possible.
  10. I have continued to take a shoe inventory and when I slip up and buy another pair, I will admit it to my husband and not sneak them in the house when he is not home.
  11. I have sought through avoiding stores and online shopping to improve my conscious contact with SHOES, praying only for strength not to buy and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I am trying to carry this message to other shopaholics, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.

I’m not sure if I can stop but I can try.  These Victoria’s Secret Shoe Catalogs are tempting me.  Zappos and are calling me.  MJM & DSW are enticing me through their doors and I am helpless.

My name is Jackie and I am a shoe-a-holic.

4 thoughts on “Shoes: A Twelve Step Program

Add yours

  1. My name is Chrissy and I am also a shoe-a-holic. I’ve been trying to cut it out myself, but I don’t think any step program will help us. But, I do look for coupons before I go shopping! Is that a step foward?!

    (Not when you just end up buying double the shoes… huh?)

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